Pursuite of Serenity
by Specialist7
Summary: Troubled by his past, one man must confront his darkest fears...
1. Chapter 1: Memories

It was a late summer afternoon in Magix. The sun was setting along the horizon, creating orange coloured rays in the sky. They could be seen from almost anywhere in the city, but nowhere as spectacular as the Red Fountain School for Heroics and Bravery, one of the tallest structures in all of Magix.

Inside the school headmaster's office, the shining light, and position of the window curtains, created an aspect of light and dark in the room. This aspect seemed to divide the red haired man that was sitting in a red velvet chair on the other side of the window, into two different people. Half of his body was in the light while the other half was in the dark. Another, much older man with white hair, sat in front of him, behind a dark coloured desk. It was none other than the school's headmaster, director Saladin. Even with his old age, he was still able to help train new specialists, maintain the school's facilities, and even protect it if necessary.

After a long silence in the room, the conversation, which had been going on for the better part of an hour, between the two men continued.

"What are you afraid of Riven?" Saladin asked, leaning closer towards him, and assuming a more attentive position.

"Myself...It's like I don't know who I am anymore. " he responded, looking at the orange coloured sky behind him and unable to make eye contact with the headmaster.

The director pressed the matter further. "Why now?"

"I don't know...if I knew I'd do something about it." Riven replied, after a short moment of thought.

"Is it because of those witches?" Saladin asked, hoping to find the cause of Riven's current issue.

Riven started to grip the seat's red cushion, as a painful memory returned to him, one he would never forget, not for as long as he lived.

* * *

><p><em>He looked up from the ground, sensing a presence behind him. He quickly turned to see what it was. <em>

"_What's going on?" he yelled, as he saw them. There were 6 of them and they looked exactly like him. They were standing in a semi-circle a few feet away. Quickly getting up, he turned his body to face the mirror images of himself._

"_What are you trying to do?" he asked as he ran towards them, stopping in the middle of the arc to face them all. "What do you want from me, huh?"_

_The images floated away from him, still maintaining their semi-circle shape. "Come on, speak!" he yelled. "What is it, what do you want, huh? Come on!" He got into his fighting stance as he continued. "What are you waiting for?" _

_He stared at each of the images, but now there seemed to be so many, he could barely keep count. "What? Who are you?" he asked as he turned his head to check behind him._

_Slowly each of them turned into a green monster with bright, orange piercing eyes. Next, all of them seemed to dissolve into a mould, forming a larger version of the same orange eyed monster._

"_You stay away from me. Go away, go away!" he yelled, terrified of the creature. "No, you're not me, that's not who I am!" he screamed, waving his hands as the monster opened its large mouth, looking to swallow him. He sat down on the floor, covering his eyes, too scared to look at it._

_When he dared to look again, the monster was sitting close by, in the same position as he was. "It can't be real, it's impossible." he said as he got up. The creature seemed to mimic his exact movements. He extended his hand to touch it and it did the same. "You don't exist, you can't..." He interrupted his phrase as he touched him. "You are real!"_

_Shocked by the revelation, he jumped backwards, crashing down against the cell wall behind him. The monster closed the gap and leaned in to face him. Their eyes met, and as they stared at each other, he saw his face reflected in the monsters eyes. _

* * *

><p>"No, I've worked through that." Riven answered the headmaster's question, releasing his grip on the cushion. He had worked hard to overcome this fear. It was a fear of becoming heartless, a fear of becoming harmful to others, of becoming...a monster. He didn't want to be alone, he didn't want to push everyone away, but it seemed as though it was exactly what he was doing.<p>

"Mhmm..." replied the headmaster, slightly nodding his head with acknowledgement. After a short break, he continued with another question. "Did the death of your friend Nabu distress you?"

Another memory came into Riven's mind, this time a more recent one. A scene that never, in his wildest dreams, would he had imagined.

* * *

><p><em>Falling to his knees, he placed the staff vertically in front of him. Carefully positioning it, he activated its magical power as he shouted: "Dark abyss, I command you, take this challenge: Your darkness against the power of light!" Looking towards the top of the vortex he continued. "Submit to the sun's strength!"<em>

_The top of the vortex seemed to bend as it re-directed its power towards the magical staff. Rising to his feet he formed a magical shield to protect himself, just as the energy from the vortex reached the apex of the staff. _

"_Nabu!" yelled Aisha seeing him struggle against the power of the abyss. "You won't win, you won't win, you will not win!" he yelled, concentrating all his energy into the staff. The energy from the vortex seemed to almost engulf him, but just then, a bright light shined from his location, forcing everyone to look away. _

"_Ahhh! No, no, may the light triumph!" he yelled. Soon after finishing the phrase, the vortex disappeared as its power was absorbed by the staff. Too weak to hold on, he fell to his knees, dropping it on the ground beside him. A cloud of smoke issued forth from the area as Aisha ran to him. "So...did it work? Did I do it?" he asked as he crashed backwards, into her arms._

* * *

><p>It was truly remarkable how much he cared about him. Even though they had a very rough start to their friendship, Nabu was the closest he'd ever come to calling someone a friend...and now he was gone, before he could tell him how much he meant to him.<p>

"He did what any one of us would have done if we had to." he replied with a short sigh and a sad expression on his face. The tone to his voice also seemed slightly elevated.

Still wishing to find out more, the headmaster continued with yet another question. "Is this about Musa?"

He knew they haven't had the best relationship; it had its constant ups and downs. He really wanted to avoid the subject, but if it was affecting Riven so much, then maybe it was something truly serious this time.

Once again Riven's mind was filled with a strong memory. Of all the ones he could have thought of, this memory in particular was one he truly wanted to remember.

* * *

><p><em>The doors closed sharply behind them as they stepped out of the studio. <em>

"_Yes! I did it!" exclaimed Musa, jumping with joy."It's a miracle, because you could have sung a lot better." declared Riven standing with his hands in his pockets. She turned and looked at him with a surprised expression on her face._

"_Do you...you really think so?" she asked, pointing her finger at him. "Well, Jason liked me, and he's the music expert." she continued, raising her shoulders._

"_Of course, just like I suppose I'm an expert on cooking or knitting." he replied in a sarcastic tone. At that she became irritated, but managed to keep herself calm._

"_Why are you acting like this? Aren't you happy for me?" she inquired. "You were obnoxious during the whole audition, I almost regret..." She stopped before finishing the sentence._

"_What do you regret?" snapped Riven. At that, Musa took a step back in fear. "Nothing." she said, crossing her arms as she turning away from him. _

"_No, come on, say it! What do you regret, huh? Asking me to come with you, right?" he asked, also crossing his arms, as he finished the question. She turned to face him again and answered back. "Yes, that's right. You've done nothing but criticize me all day. Is this your way of supporting me?" _

"_Oh don't worry, I'm leaving. Ask your friend Jason to support you." With that, he turned around, and started walking back to the apartment. _

* * *

><p>He had almost lost her for good after doing that. In truth, he was lucky she even talked to him again. He had realized the serious error he had made in taking their relationship for granted, and was ready to make amends to make things right, but would things ever return to normal?<p>

Riven gave no response to the headmaster's question, unwilling to discuss matters further. The entire conversation between them only made him realize just how frustrated he really was...at how the witches had used him...at how his best friend had died...at how he nearly lost the girl he loved. With all this anger, it was no wonder he was starting to lose control.

Sensing Riven's mood change, the headmaster decided it would be best not to continue with any more questions about these issues. "Riven, when you first came here you were bashful and disorganized, sometimes out of control. You learned to manage your anger and frustration throughout your time spent here at Red Fountain. Yet, it seems you are no happier. What are you afraid that you will do?"

"Before I came here I was wild, like an animal. I had no direction, no real purpose. You and the others gave me a reason to fight, or back off...it's not there anymore." Riven replied, looking down at the many books, stacked on the director's desk.

"Riven, consider what you're saying!" said Saladin, shocked at the specialist's answer.

Standing up, he began to lean on the headmaster's desk with, further reducing the distance between them, and making full eye contact with the headmaster. "I wanted to kill someone today...for cutting me off in traffic..."

As soon as he finished the phrase, another recollection came to his mind. It was an event that took place earlier that day.

* * *

><p><em>He checked his mirror to get a better view of his left lane. He noticed a car in it, which was moving faster than he was. He turned his view back to front of his bike, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw the car from the left lane suddenly pull toward him. He quickly applied the brakes, increasing the distance between them and allowing the car to move onto his lane. It came to a stop at a signal just a few feet away.<em>

" _An instant later and I would have been run off the road!" he thought as he approached the rear of the vehicle. Brandon, who had been riding behind him, also slowed down for the signal. As soon as his bike came to a stop, Riven jumped off, and ran straight to the car, without even taking his helmet off. _

_It was a convertible and, in his angered state, he pulled the driver out of the car by his shirt. "Riven, stop!" yelled Brandon as he grabbed him from behind in an attempt to free the driver. Putting the driver down Riven turned his entire body with one sudden move, trying to shake Brandon off. _

_Caught off-guard and unable to hold on to him, Brandon was thrown on the pavement of the opposing lane. The signal changed, just as a car sped around the corner on the opposite side of the intersection. Seeing him, the driver slammed on the brakes, stopping just inches from Brandon's body._

* * *

><p>"...I even came close to hurting Brandon...and it didn't bother me. I didn't care professor. Even animals' care about each other..." he continued with his statement.<p>

It was because of this event that he had sought the headmaster's help and advice. He realized he had taken things too far, and just wanted to stop. So many thing had happened to him within the last few years that he felt the need to just get away from things, to get away from all the fighting, all the violence. Perhaps that way he would truly find some sort of peace, an end to all the problems he had had.

"...I don't know what's missing inside. I have no idea how I lost it. Until I get it back, I'm leaving Red Fountain." he concluded. With that, he turned around and headed toward the exit of the room.

The headmaster became stunned by Riven's actions. In all the years he had known him he had never seen the specialist act this way before. "It could be just a phase." he thought as he nodded to himself, sitting back in a more comfortable position in his red velvet chair.


	2. Chapter 2: Illusions

In his room, Riven had started going through all the things he would take with him. Neatly folding them, he started placing some clothes in his backpack. It was the same one he had used when he first arrived at the school, and it was still in good shape, especially with all the years it had stayed unused in one of the room's corners.

"_Funny._" he thought. "_A few years in this place and you're almost ready to call it hom_e." Opening the drawer of the desk next to his bed, he picked up the item which was sitting inside. It looked like the purple insignia from his uniform, but when activated, it would turn into his light-sword. He looked at it for a moment, unsure as to whether or not he should take it with him. After all, it was Red Fountain property. He should have turned it in to the armoury when he had got back, but there wasn't any protocol requiring all weapons to be surrendered when returning from a mission.

All he wanted at that point was to get away from the violence, at least for a while. He'd seen so much of it during his time at Red Fountain; he felt he had had enough. Wouldn't bringing his light-sword kind of defeat the whole purpose of leaving?

After a long moment of thought, he placed the handle in one of his pockets. No, he couldn't do it. He couldn't just leave it behind like that, especially after all the time he had spent practicing to master the weapon. It had saved his life on numerous occasions, and he felt somehow...connected to it. Besides, it could be useful if he ever had to protect himself.

Closing the drawer, he zipped-up his backpack and picked it up from the bed on which it was standing. He was ready to leave. Turning around, he took a quick in the mirror which was hanging on the wall behind him. It was mostly out of habit. He normally used it to check the way looked before leaving for class. His hair style wasn't exactly easy to maintain. Looking at himself now, he once again checked his side bangs to make sure they were sitting right. Their length seemed to remind him of a certain black haired fairy again. One he had risked his life for.

Suddenly, the image in the mirror somehow changed, and a new face appeared in it. He knew it. It too had dark hair, just like the fairy of music, but its length was shorter; a lot shorter. This however was only because the person in question had recently had a haircut during their time in the Earth realm. It was none other than the headmaster Saladin's grandson, Helia.

"_Try to look at her with different eyes..." _the image in the mirror spoke.

"Wish I really could do that." Riven answered him, sighing and lowering his head, without really giving it any thought. Maybe he was really losing it. At least there wasn't anyone nearby to hear him. Who knows what they would think.

Helia had really wanted to help him get back together with Musa, but almost every piece of advice he had given him, just didn't seem to work. He wasn't the romantic type. He tried to be. He really did, but he just couldn't pretend to be something he wasn't. He was who he was, and that was that. Nabu on the other hand was the only one who really seemed to understand him and what he was going through. The help he had given him with his relationship was truly invaluable.

Looking up at the mirror once again, the image of the Specialist started to fade away. Instead, the image of a much older, red haired man with a goatee of the same colour, took its place. It was the leader of the Wizards of the Black Circle...Ogron!

"_Oops! How careless of me..."_ it spoke.

Suddenly, a surge of energy rushed through his body, and his frame of mind was drastically changed. He became enraged! His emotion quickly reached a saturation point, and without any effort to constrain himself, he raised his right hand, and smashed the mirror with as much force as he could muster.

The glass cracked from the force of the blow and a few small pieces fell onto the wooden floor of the room. After a couple of seconds, he returned his hand close to his body with a slight wave, as it had started to hurt. Looking at the now shattered mirror again, he could once more see his facial reflection in it.

The door beside him slowly opened, and a tall, muscular man with hazelnut hair walked through it. "The bus to Magix is here." he announced, moving closer toward him.

"Why do you have leave, Riven?" Brandon asked, still unclear as to the specialists' rationale.

"Don't you get it; I didn't care what happened to that guy. I didn't care what happened to you!" Riven responded, in an angered tone and making eye contact in a provocative way.

"We're here for you man, we can help you through this." Brandon sympathized, attempting to calm him down. He began to extend his hand, in order to place it on his shoulder.

"Thanks..." Riven answered, pushing it aside, "...but right now I'm not fit to be a Specialist."

With that, he slipped past Brandon and out of the room. With no attempt to stop him, the burly specialist simply watched as Riven exited his field of view. Brandon knew he had made up his mind, and that it would be pointless to try and change it, but he took a crack at anyway. Ultimately, the result was what he had come to expect.

Moving toward the broken mirror, he began to nod his head in disagreement. "_Riven, sometimes I just don't get you man._" he thought to himself and with a deep sigh, he crouched down and picked up the broken pieces of glass from the floor.

* * *

><p>The silhouette of the large city grew bigger and bigger as the bus approached its final destination. Riven felt increasingly nervous as the bus drew closer to the city. He was not looking forward to returning to Magix. At first he found the city astonishing, but after exploring it for almost 4 years, it became dull, and hardly offered anything all that exciting anymore. It was also home to a few unpleasant memories too. In a way, he was glad to be leaving it behind.<p>

Finally his anxiety became too much. He got up from his seat and put his backpack on, just as the bus stopped at the station. He would have liked to be the first one out, but since he was sitting at the back, it took him a while to exit the vehicle. When he did, it took off again just a few seconds later.

Not wasting any time, he quickly proceeded across the street, heading past a small building with multiple pillars on its front side, and inside an all too familiar alleyway. It was old one, similar to the one with a dead end that Musa had once ran into when she was being chased by the witches a few years back. She had stumbled into him just before running in, pleading for his help. _"...and why should I?" _was his answer.

Riven shocked his head, snapping back to reality. "Enough!" he yelled, taking a few heavy breaths to calm himself down. He checked his surroundings again to make sure he had reached the correct location. Sure enough, this was the place. It was a teleporting station that could send him anywhere he'd want to go, and there was once place he felt he had a duty to go.

"See ya Magix!" he said as he turned around and gazed at the city one last time. Within seconds a bright flash of light appeared and began to swallow him. Offering no opposition, Riven disappeared into the light, leaving the city and the entire realm behind.


	3. Chapter 3: Emotions

A star, just as powerful as the sun, shined heavily on the horizon. The rays it generated were reflected off of the calm water that flowed along the shore line of the island. Their intensity was such that no one could look at the water for too long without eye protection.

It was generally calm. A slight breeze few through the air, creating small waves that crashed along the jagged edges of a sharp, stony cliff. At the summit of this cliff, a long patch of fresh green grass was present. It covered nearly every inch of the terrain, and on to its sides, a set of man-made structures were present.

They were pillars. Their shape and form was almost indistinguishable from the roman architecture on Earth, while their positioning was in the shape of a semi-circle. The convex arc of the structure faced toward the end of the cliff, and right in the middle of the pillars, a large stone, in the same semi-circle shape, stood proudly to mark the land, implying a sort of dominance over the entire cliff. A small rectangular area, cleared of grass ran along the radius of the semi-circle, toward its centre. Right in the middle of this area, a small white narcissus flower could be found.

The stone's pre-eminence however, was challenged as it became completely covered by the shadow of a tall man. He stood a few feet from it, close to the edge of the grass-free area, and examined it along with the details of the surroundings. Hearing the sound of the waves splashing up against the end of the cliff, the tall man began to recall a similar scene that he had witnessed only a few months ago, during his time on the Earth realm. That day, he was standing on the beach, doing the exact same thing.

That was when another man, with long dark hair stylized into 2 braided pony-tails and wearing a dark blue shirt approached him. After a brief conversation, he told him that he needed to be alone for a while. He got his wish. Nabu's response however, had been playing through Riven's mind the moment he arrived on Andros.

"_When you want to talk about it, you know where to find me."_

"Well, I guess I want to talk about...it." Riven said as he starred at the name that had been engraved on the stone.

"Things haven't really changed since you've been gone. Sky's back doing his thing in Eraklion and the rest of us are back at Red Fountain. The girls though, well, they're still on Earth for now, working at their shop. We're kind of starting to miss them. "

"Things have gotten better with Musa, but we still have some stuff to work out." he declared with a sigh.

"I really wish you were still around. I've got a few things I really wanna talk to you about..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "...but no, you had to go and be a hero."

With that, Riven dropped to his knees right at the edge of the cleared zone and slammed his fists into the ground along its sides, using them to support his upper body. Tears dropped on to the peddles of the white flower, and continued to flow to the ground. They eventually disappeared into the soil.

* * *

><p>After some time, Riven returned to his standing position and wiped his eyes clean. This time though, he began to feel the presence of another human being. Turning around, he saw another man moving toward him. He was much shorter than him...and older too.<p>

He was completely bald. His eye brows were dark and minute, barely noticeable from a distance, if not for his trained eyes. They were the only facial hair the man had. He also had large wrinkles on his face which gave him a slightly unpleasant look. As he came closer to the specialist, Riven noticed that his eyes were of the same purple shade as his and Nabu's.

The robe he wore was virtually identical in shape and form to Nabu's. Its colour however, was a darker shade of red, unlike the purple robe that the Andros wizard was usually dressed in. The man also carried a small plain vase in arms. It was of a beige colour, and by the way he was holding it, Riven could tell that it was full.

"Who are you?" he yelled to the old man, positioning himself in a fighting stance.

Seeing him, the man continued to walk toward Riven until he stood only a few feet from the specialist. He stopped and caught his breath for a moment before answering him.

"Hold stranger. I mean you no harm. I am master Kouta, elder leader of Thermae."

"Thermae?..." Riven replied with a large frown on his face. Up until that moment, he thought the island was un-inhabited. "I've never heard of anything by that name." he continued.

"I'm not surprised you haven't." the man replied as he began walking again.

He passed the specialist and stopped at the edge of the grave. Kneeling down, he began to water the narcissus flower that stood in its centre.

"It is a small village south of here, the last remaining settlement on the island. We are a small community...we rarely have visitors." master Kouta said.

After he finished pouring the contents of the vase, he stood up and looked straight into Riven's eyes.

"We would be grateful if you would come and visit us, perhaps even stay a while." Kouta proposed taking a small bow in front of him as he finished speaking. "Any friend of Nabu's is a friend of ours."

Riven remained silent for a short time. No drought master Kouta had seen him crying at Nabu's grave a while ago and figured out that they were close, but would he really go as far as to offer shelter to a complete stranger, simply because they were friends with him? Perhaps the Andros wizard had left a long lasting impression on the village, even though Riven didn't recall him ever mentioning it.

Curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to check out this mysterious village. After all, he needed a place to stay for the night, and as master Kouta had said, Thermae was the only settlement on the island.

"Alright, I'll stay at your village for a while." the red haired specialist replied, accepting the invitation.

"Good." the older man replied with a small grin. "Come with me, young man. I will introduce you to our small town."

With that he turned around and began walking back the same way he had come when he first met stumbled into Riven. The specialist hesitated for a few moments, a bit surprised by the turn of events.

Out of nowhere, a strange chill began to run down his spine. During the years of training he had undergone at Red Fountain, he learned to be on his guard, whenever such a feeling became present. It usually signaled some kind of trouble...or, in rare cases, a contentment of some sort. Still, there was definitely no logical explanation behind this event.

Checking his surroundings once more, he noted an interesting occurrence. The white narcissus flower in front of the gravestone had now begun to bloom. As he watched it, the flower's peddles continued to open more and more, revealing to the world its beautiful yellow stems and black stigmas.

For the first time, after what seemed like long time, the expression of a smile appeared on Riven's face. Turning around, he saw master Kouta in the distance and began to jog toward him at a moderate pace. Closing the gap between them, he slowed to a walk and continued treading along the master's right hand side.


End file.
